Again.

Again, with this lonly feeling. Again, with the worthless ness.

Nothing's as it should be. I want to go somewhere else. I want to be someone else. I want to be doing something else.

I could go to the place of no return. I could be something, that something that no one here knows about.

I just can't help it. Looking back, I see so many, so frequent posts about... "____ is really cool. I'm really glad she's my friend," "I wish I could've gotten a little more time with ____" and all this really... great stuff about ____.

You know what I wish? I wish ___ would post things like that, not on a private blog. I wish I could make him as happy as she did. I wish I were more.

But I'm not.

I'm a pathetic piece of shit.

I went wrong, somewhere, doing something. I don't know where, I don't know what, but I'm sure it happened. I'm just not that great of a person. That's why. That's why he doesn't like me as much as he liked her.

I'm not paranoid, I'm really trying not to be paranoid, I'm really working on it

but I'm still not good enough. I never wrote lyrics and bought him a teddy bear to say I'm sorry.

I'm just not one of those "awesome" people that you want to hang around with.

I'm shitty.

It all makes me so sad. So, sad. I don't even deserve the right to have feelings, I'm that worthless. Energy was wasted in bringing me up, Ma. You should've gotten rid of me when you had the chance.

I feel like throwing up. I was hungry today, too... Oh well.

Waste away, I'll just do that. I don't have much of an apetite anymore... Things should work out like that then.